sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
