Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
