I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I believe in your delicious
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
