you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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