After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
