apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
