Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
