So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So squirting runs in the family.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
