Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
home. puking in laundry basket.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You need Xanax blowdarts
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
How naked do you want me to be?
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