Me. At least after what I've been through.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
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