making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
