I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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