no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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