I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
