just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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