Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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