I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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