Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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