Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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