Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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