I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
