you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
