There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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