If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
