why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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