is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize