cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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