The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
