let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
