Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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