dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
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