She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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