I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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