Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
