I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
