eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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