How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think I am morally bankrupt
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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