If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
