Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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