Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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