she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
