she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Houston, we have a blender
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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