you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
