after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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