i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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