i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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