Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Let's get the cat blown out
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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