Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
