he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
