i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
