watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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