that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
