you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
