I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
