it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
