I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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