Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
