Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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