Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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