he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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