even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize