VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
