Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Even my vagina gasped.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
