wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
